A Process of Soul Searching

I have a problem in writing my university application essays. Not because I didn’t know what to write, but because I wanted to write too much of stuffs. My naive and romantic personality believes that more is indeed, more. With limited space available, I have no choice but to start a soul-searching process, to determine what is really the most important thing about me.


I needed help, and Google is always there. Apparently, there are a few questions that one should ask to determine the best topic for an essay. I got these from Essay Advice

• your most memorable experiences

I hate this question.

• the most influential people in your life

My parents, but NOT in a good way. My opposing views with that of theirs shaped me into what I am today.

• the most influential events in your life

The transition between Form 3 and Form 4. The quest for change and a paradigm shift.

• the most influential ideas in your life

The concept of “randomness” of birth and the concept of “universality”

• the most important lessons you have learned

Always be yourself and do what you think is right. “Always do what is right, not what is established”

• your talents or skills

Music, able to read and write.

• your accomplishments

Not really interested in listing them.

• your likes

To be busy

• your dislikes

To waste time and procrastinate

• your academic goals

Learn how to learn things quickly in response to the fast-evolving world, refine learning approach, learn everything, resist worshiping the thoughts of other people but treating them as merely reference, and eventually have the ability to come up with own thoughts

• your career goals

Be an entrepreneur someday. But if that does not work out, do something that I enjoy doing. Turn hobby into career.

• your personal goals

To be able to make the world a better place. Really, even though it sounded trite.

• obstacles or challenges you’ve faced and how you overcame and grew from them

The environment in which I grew up in. It suppressed my true ability. And I defied the environment that I live in.

• your failures and lessons learned

I failed to be the person I want to be. Lesson is, stop wasting time and work hard to be the person I want to be.

• your key strengths

Know what I want out of life, have self-belief, highly individualistic

• your favorite written work

The Medici Effect

• your favorite movies or other performance art pieces

“Meditation from Thais”, by Jules Massenet

• your favorite quotations

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education” – Mark Twain

• your favorite extracurricular activities

Advertising related stuffs, but I’m not too good at it, I think.

• your favorite intellectual activities

Coming up with ideas, figuring out how things work without looking or referencing How Stuffs Works

• the attributes you most respect in others

Tenacity and the quality of being oneself

• the most memorable things about you

I can play the piano?

• how you’ve grown and changes you’ve made

shy and unconfident to a little confident and extroverted

• times when you’ve shown leadership

I volunteered to direct a movie when no one wants to do it

• times when you’ve helped others

I pretended to answer a question on the white board during a presentation by my friend just to notify him about his unzip pants

• times when you’ve shown creativity

“Exclusively” advertising campaign for Prom

• times when you’ve shown ingenuity

I practice repetitive jazz scales on the piano while reading chemistry to save time

• the attributes of a good education or a well-educated person

Creative, innovative, being able to think critically, never stop questioning, never trust formulas and always question its derivation

I am not sure how this is going to work, but these prompts certainly helped me to get the ball rolling in my mind. I would have an idea of possible topic, I hope.

Random Facts

I don’t really know what happened, but I was “tagged”. Apparently I must provide 8 random facts about myself and elaborate, or else something bad will happen to me. After the jump.

1. I always rank number 1 in class during primary school, without fail, almost effortlessly
It is not that all my subjects are highly scored, which would then result in higher average, but because my English helped me a lot to compensate for my deficiency in subjects like Chinese. After all, I was the only guy who speaks English at home. When I went to secondary school, I got number 5 in form 1. So I thrived a lot, because back then number 1 means a lot to me. I got number 7 in form 2. (I use to have a lot of “inferiority complex” because of this drop in ranking. Then number 2 in form 3, before I get totally tired of all these and realize how stupid and foolish I was in my quest for higher rankings.

2. I started reading business news when I was in form 3
I read it everyday. I checked out the points of the stock market index everyday single day. I was not really sure why I did so, but it must have been a chance encounter that I just pick up the section of the newspaper and find it so comprehensible and interesting. Much of my writing at that time was very business like. Out of nowhere, I would use the words “consolidate”, “penetrate”, “level playing field”, “acquisition”, “merger”, “expansion”, etc in my essays. Then one fine day, as a result of an accumulation of all the business knowledge that I’ve acquired (see, I’m using this word again), I began to “see” the true Malaysian business landscape. To sum up, Malaysia’s business landscape is, a fragile picture. No innovation and creativity (with the exception of a very few companies), overly dependent on oil/gas and natural resources, not aggresive and slow in action, overly dependent on mere manufacturing (read: producing stuffs by other foreign companies), as opposed to designing and producing own invention. I read with envy the foreign business news section. Big companies like Samsung and Toyota recieved huge coverage from the big news agencies like Reuters, Bloomberg, AP, AFP and so on. Even Singapore’s corporations recieve more coverage then ours. I must say I’m inspired to want to be an entrepreneur some day, to rectify things and to make changes, although it could be hard. But, of course, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

3. I fantasize a lot.
Most fantasies are about business empires, futuristic product design, *ahem* some person, mobile phones, advertisements, ideas for new song melody, how human should act, how government should behave, new features for consumer’s product. Sometimes I’ve been accused of being naive by elder people, because the ideas that I have are regarded as non-practical/non-feasible, and some see it as ill-conceived ideas based on exorbitant ignorance of how the real-world works. I don’t think there is such thing as a naive ideas. I would like to think that those are radical ideas which needed time to be refined. Impossible is nothing, after all.

4. I wish I have the power to stop time
So much to do, yet so little time. I wish I had time to read Charles Dicken’s satire, I wish I had the time to write a complain letter on every single issue to the editor of newspaper, I wish I can do big advertising projects, I wish I can play the violin everyday. I wish I can watch TV or go to the cinema. I wish I had time to go out of home to see the world (I have not been to the newly open Pavilion KL or The Gardens to date).

5. I have the ability to spot evil -friends
Who is a good friend, who is an evil friend? I know. If a person talks bad about someone else in front of you, this person must be an evil friend. What makes you think this person will not talk bad about you with someone else? I mean, whenever I see this person talking bad to me about this B*it*h and that @** ****, I am like, gosh, he/she must be talking like this about me too. But nowadays, I don’t really care about this. There are more important things in life. I have a high level of tolerance of diversity of personality.

6. I wish I was more talented
I sometimes wish I could do better in maths and sciences. I felt inferior whenever I meet someone who can solve a math problem faster than I do. It is not that I do not know how to do, but I just take longer, due to my inherent resistance to worship the thoughts of other men. I wish I can pick up the violin and play “Meditation from Thais” like Sarah Chang on the first attempt, play Chopin’s Waltz on the piano with waltz groove, have natural ability to draw and design complex graphics and many other things. Of course, I am grateful and am happy with who I am. I have the ability to compose (I don’t know how I got that). I have perfect pitch, no big deal, but some say only 1 in 10,000 people possess that ability. I just want to be more talented. I am greedy.

7. I have an ideal life that I wish to live
I always envision an ideal life. I want to wake up in the morning, jog in the woods with waterfalls and fresh air, take a shower in a bath tub, then dress in executive suit and go to work. I want a hassle-free drive to work (no jam), then work like a bee. Discuss highly intellectually demanding stuffs with people, get passionate about ideas, talk about work at the lunch table, then continue working. Stop work at about 6pm and go to a jazz bar to relax. The jazz bar has to play swing and blues. The atmosphere of the bar has to be slightly dimmed. Each improvisation has to be the finest of jazz. Then I would want to swim (at night) at a glass pool, and finally read a book every night, before retiring to bed.

8. I think I can do anything
I don’t really think there’s something I cannot do. I think if I am willing to believe, I will be able to do something. But I could be wrong amid the youthful idealism. Well, for now I would like to think I can do virtually anything. Until something happens to me and tell me I can’t. I am, after all, an empiricist.