A Fiddler’s Conundrum (Part 1)

The following is an example of how the violins of my friends at the KLPAC orchestra look like:

Notice the wonderful shadings of the surface. The zebra/tiger stripes-like design, which I would say felt a little like the hologram sticker on your Nokia battery, as if the violin too, wants to assure the buyers that this is a “real violin” with genuine fine wood from the pine trees of the Alps. I am pretty sure you can “feel” the texture by mere glance from your computer screen. The entire appearance literally transmits the jaw-dropping factor.

The price: ≥RM2000 (This is an understatement, the lowest possible price. Usually a lot more).

The huge contrast of the mellow tone of the lower notes and the glass-breaking high pitch, the ownership’s pride, and the rather effortless production of sublime tone: Priceless.

Now, let’s take a look at MY violin.

Notice the colour of the violin. Absolutely monotonous. It is brownish red on every single corner. A closer look:

The view of the back of the violin:

In other words, my violin pales (literally) in comparison. No color vibrancy. No fancy stripes. Just a piece of wood. Like a mundane piece of tropical wood. This might be true. It was made in Singapore after all. Not sure if they even have trees. Maybe it was made from the trees along Orchard Road.

Ok, the mundane appearance is justifiable - it is very very cheap: < RM500.

RM380 to be exact.

Once you stop laughing, check this out:

A 10 cm crack just below the “f-hole” (If this word sounded offensive, it’s because it rhymes with “ass-hole”, plus the magical effect of the letter “f”).

Yes, yes. I dropped the violin few years back while texting away on my cellphone and gripping loosely the poor fiddle using my shoulders and my jaws. Someone must have sent me some earth-shattering news, like “A plane crash to the Petronas Twin Tower”, or “Rosie O’Donnell married Donald Trump”, that I must have excitedly replied. And I lose the grip. The rest is history.

Oh, in case the 10cm scar wasn’t enough, check out what happen during the ill-fated incident that had “befallen” the poor violin, pardon the pun:

Seems like the surface of the violin was somehow “exfoliated” in various parts, as if I had just use the facial scrub on the surface.

Not surprising, those around me had always told me, “Get a new violin!”, which I usually see as euphemism for “Your violin is ugly”, or “Your violin is damn cheap”, or “Don’t you feel embarrassed having such violin while surrounded by our 18th century Italian hand-made Paganini-class violins?”

[To be continued]