Happy Birthday to Me

Posted: March 13, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Lessons I pick up from life, Milestone, Music | Leave a comment

I hate birthdays. I usually wished nobody would remember and that it would pass by uneventfully.

Two days ago, the 11th, was my birthday. Yes, my birth date was the same as Rupert Murdoch’s (That’s the only thing I care about). Actually bringing up Rupert Murdoch is apt, because I always feel under-accomplished vis-a-vis my age. I mean, here I am, 22 years old, and I don’t feel very accomplished in a way that amazes me and makes me wow in disbelief when I had the chance to sit down in solitude and reflect upon my life.

When I was 21, I made significant progress in songwriting, beginning with my demos accepted by publishing companies (as opposed to having them tossing to the bin without even listening), then joining a songwriting competition organized by a major reputable record label and making it to the finals, have them signed my song, being put on the mailing list of record companies looking for songs, meet some recording industry people who were kind enough to give me some guidance along the way, and upgrade music production equipment like sound card, vst, softwares, and of course a midi controller which I bought a day after my birthday so you can called it a birthday gift). Not to mention that I’m playing the piano in the most expensive and exclusive place to shop in KL, an endeavor in which I took tremendous pride.

Most of these progresses and attainments were a big deal back then, but in retrospect, it doesn’t make me feel accomplished, now that I am viewing things in perspective and I know that these are still quite far from my eventual goal. What would make me feel accomplished? Maybe if I managed to sell all songs that I wrote and if they all topped the charts and ruled the airwaves, chanted by masses on the street, set as ringtones on teenagers’ mobile phones, flooded the playlists of the iPod on every single palm, requested by patrons in clubs and lounges, covered by contestants on reality show. Yes, those would be what I called accomplishments.

Maybe it was because I was overly ambitious or maybe because I always want to get things quickly and then move on to other things, or maybe – bluntly – it is the modesty of my intellect that prevent me from achieving more. I think I have walked some journey. They say it’s the journey that matters and not the destination. I am still learning to believe and behave in this, to be amazed by the journey and not the destination.

Though I hated to be reminded, thanks for the wishes on Facebook. Actually, more like ..thanks to the very algorithm on Facebook that alerted people that it’s my birthday. A couple of people asked me where I was. It was as if I was kidnapped by aliens. But come to think of it, I don’t really hang out with people I used to know anymore, not because I am anti-social, I think, but because I am really busy attending to my ambition. Plus, I don’t have a car and this severely restricts my physical mobility.

All in all, I think I’ve done alright in the previous year. Maybe next year I’ll be amazed by the journey I’ve embarked on my 22th year on the planet. We’ll see.

Toy for Big Boys

Posted: March 13, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Milestone, Music | Leave a comment

Things have gotten interesting since yesterday. I’ve gotten myself a toy. That is, toy for big boys (it makes me feel masculine to say this, so I kinda said/typed it twice)

A few posts back I wrote that I was hunting for a midi controller, but was deterred by the price tag of RM4000. Miraculously – I don’t use this word often so you can imagine how miraculous it is – the manufacturer decided to have a stock clearance sale last week and the midi controller goes for RM1500++. Discount! More than 50%! So upon learning that there is only one unit left in the store, I just have to get there to try it out as soon as I can, and possibly snap it up.

After testing it out with my software, and after trying to figure out how to get any sound out of the keys for a good two hours together with the equally clueless sales personnel, I am now the proud owner of a Yamaha KX-8, a full 88 keys graded hammer action midi keyboard. I must say the price is a major factor in my purchasing decision. So thank … god, or the lone fluffy tree in the porch of my home, or whatever/whoever who wants to claim credit, for showering me with such serendipity.

Since the toy arrived, I’ve been either in front of the keyboard tickling the ivories or flipping through the thick manual and then testing and exploring its functionality on the keyboard. This is indeed an exciting development and would likely speed up my songwriting process significantly.

Three years on

Posted: March 8, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: For a Great Cause, Lessons I pick up from life, Things I Find Interesting | Leave a comment

It has been three years since the fateful March 8 general election. Three years ago, I wrote that this country will never be the same again. I was optimistic in believing that the opposition parties would, by now, be a great force to be reckoned with and that it is in a position to potentially win the next general election.

But exactly three years later, the headlines of the day was that BN, the incumbent, had won two by-elections, with bigger majority. Government-owned media trumpeted with much fanfare the return of BN.

Things had indeed changed. For a start, there was a new Prime Minister. The previous Prime Minister was probably the most pathetic one ever. His name was Abdullah, or something. I mean, you don’t see him in the news anymore. It’s like, he never existed. Then came Mr Najib, who was in politics since he was 22 years old and naturally he knows the game.

This is the kind of guy who takes no prisoner. He crushed his political opponent by all means possible – using media laws, banning opposition media, intimidating opposition leaders by having them investigated for minor corruption allegations (and in the process someone died), clamping down on protest, engineered a coup d’etat and took over the state of Perak, blatant money politics. He appeared unfazed about controversies associated with him, whether it was the defense budget years ago or – of course – the brutal murder of a Mongolian part-time model (a court case which till today had no real resolution – but that’s another story for another time). His approval rating was at an all time low of 40% when he took office. Recently it has risen to about 60% to 70%. Today it could be higher. This guy clearly knows that public perception changes over time and what was once controversial need not forever be controversial.

To be fair, the opposition had gained some ground too. It is now quite possible to say that we have a two party system. Opposition parties and leaders now make headlines in mainstream media regularly, something unheard of in the past, though, more often than not they are being vilified by these government-owned press. But as they say, there is something worse than negative publicity, and that is no publicity at all. Of the three opposition parties, DAP and PAS had an uneasy relationship and Anwar Ibrahim was the one who hold things together. But now, he is distracted by a, I mean, another, sodomy court case, which I believed, judging from the questionable and partial nature of the court case, is trumped up, most probably by those in the government. My guessing is they won’t convict him, but they will drag the case as long as possible to distract him, probably until the next general election. Anwar was effectively held ransom.

Then came the third force, comprising a group of people who believed that neither the incumbent nor the opposition can bring real good or change. I had great reverence for some of those people. However, politics is politics. It is not just about being competent or having the will to bring changes or having nobler intentions. It is also about managing public perception, fanning passion of the people, persuasion, changing minds, appearing likable, and where circumstances demand, and most importantly, knowing how to maneuver politically in order to attain one’s political goals.

I must end this piece by exploring how the three different forces fared from a social Darwinian point of view. I might be secretly hoping that the Third Force prevails, I might even bring up the good-evil dichotomy and place the Third Force in the good category while the rest falls under evil. But as I’ve learned over the years, nature does not take sides (well, it does when time is involved – that’s just another of my self-conjure conjecture which I’ll write about in future). It does not have a desired end goal. It is up to men to use his wit and draw on his strength to impose his desired outcome on the world. Firstly, for the incumbent ruling party, they are doing quite well and gaining ground. Yes, though everything that they do to retain power can never be described as noble, those things are not what you wouldn’t do if you find yourself in that position.

For the opposition party, things haven’t been rosy and will continue to be so. Yes, they don’t have a lot at their disposal. They don’t have big money to give away during by-elections. Media played up the most petty of issues. However, I do believe all these can be turned into an advantage. Being underdog, if played really well, can turn the table around. But as of now, they are still trying to compete with the ruling party on the ruling party’s terms. I don’t think that’s a smart move.

As for the third force, their main advantages are their leader’s credibility and the clearly articulated principles and direction. I’ve not seen enough of them to make an informed opinion, though if they want to outsmart Najib they should really be worshiping Sun Tzu’s Art of War and began thinking outside of the box for some creative solutions.

Hey Big Spender; and other stories

Posted: March 2, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Lessons I pick up from life, Milestone, Things I Find Interesting | 1 Comment

Hey big spender
One thousand and five hundred bucks gone in less than a week. Granted, it was a series of long overdue, necessary spending, but the drastic dwindling of my bank account figure didn’t quite sit well in me.

Samsung, the jack of all trades but master of none
Precisely why I will never buy another Samsung. My Samsung external hard disk drive decided one day that it is not to be recognized by any Window computers. Six hundred and forty gigabyte worth of storage space gone, and everything inside, from songs and movies that I’ve been painstakingly downloading over the months but haven’t had the time to listen and watch, are irretrievable. Yes, Samsung is a reputable brand. They build ships, design chips, and manufacture TVs, but I think I’ll get a Western Digital hard disk next, which is more of a specialize brand.

Those strings of As
So recently the Malaysian high school leaving certificate (or whatever name it was called) result was announced. As usual, newspapers were plastered with pictures of a couple of disable students who “had overcome tremendous physical challenges and excelled with X amount of As”, a few students from poor rural areas “who despite poverty managed to score with flying colors”, a bunch of teenage boys tossing their friend (presumably the top scorer in the school) up in the air, a few drenched in tears over a certain elusive A. Government officers will, as usual, compare this year’s result with that of last year and the conclusion is, our students are better off this year. Yay. And of course, of course, this is a “testament that our country has world class education system”.

While I do respect people with disability or poor people overcoming adversity, excelling in an education system so rotten to the core, so deeply politicized, and more importantly, planned by a bunch of mediocre minds, is not something to be proud of.

While I am at it
While I am at it, my sister too, was a candidate of the examination, and she scored all As. Naturally, my mum, being my mum, has got to be part of it, along with my mum’s dad, whom I used to call grandfather, who immediately called up from his place to speak to my sister, which was really causing some slight guilt in me because the only reason he’s now all over my sister is because I am “always not at home” when he calls, to recollect my gestures to those who pick up the phone, or in the unfortunate event that I am at the receiving end of the call, I am always, you know, busy doing something and oh, gotta work, gotta hang up soon, okay thanks bye. The reason I’m doing this is because at every point of our conversation, he tried to figure out my salary numbers, create the perception that being a musician is demeaning, convince me that I really should be going to university and that I should be an accountant or engineer to have money. True, it is reasonable advise the first time one hears it, but he apparently lacked other issues to talk about such that I had began to avoid talking to him altogether.

Should I get a car?
I thought I shouldn’t, as I wrote on this blog before, thinking that instead of working towards a car, why don’t I work towards moving to another city/country, with better public transport system. But lately the urgent need for a car began to arise. I have work assignment in Bangsar regularly and I’m beginning to feel reluctant to commit to it. Bangsar is of course, a posh neighborhood and people prefer to commute in their Mercedes Benz than in a RapidKL bus.

The other day I took a train and had initially planned to take a cab to my final destination in Bangsar. THERE IS NO CAB. I ended up walking for about 2 km. Haven’t had dinner. It was cold and drizzling. And unfortunate for me, the topography was in a condition such that I have to walk uphill. Before I reach my destination, I had to sit at a nearby bus stop for a good 15 minutes to dry myself up before arriving at work. I don’t like the situation and I thought I was so pathetic. It’s like, going for rock climbing before going to work. And after I’m done, my dad came to pick me up. Naturally it hit my ego a bit, feeling like a failure for my dependency on him for transport. Should I get a car? Is it better to bite the bullet, shed the ego, and wait for a few month or maybe a year before I get the hell out of this place?

And you wonder why Malaysian art/music cannot flourish?
Look at the price of music equipments. I needed a midi controller to progress further on my music project. The one that I had my eyes on cost a whopping RM4000. And in other places, in US for instance, it was just US$700. Yes, the financial journals in the country has been all over the issue of Ringgit being the best performing currency in Asia against the greenback. It has appreciated to the level of US$1 = RM3. In that case, can I have that for RM2100? To be fair, the high price that I have to pay is a combination of several factors, but I just want to blame everything on the government. I’ve met many people who wanted to learn to play music instruments and the instrument cost is way more than their monthly salary. There is a serious issue of economics in this country. Inflation is kept artificially low, income levels are low, import duties are high, productivity is low, economy is slow, purchasing power virtually nil. So to those who manages the economy, f*** you.

I tried make up
Yes, on an occasion of aberration, I was seated before a make-up artist as he spread, rubbed, and brushed my face with whatever that he thought would give me a makeover. I must say, I looked.. awesome. I was quite please with the result. My skin looked absolutely flawless and my face had more depth. The danger of all this is, once I remove the makeup my self-esteem drop to a record low, my flaws, even if they are just as petty as some barely there acne mark, seemed so noticeable. As they say, (actually more like I made that up), once you put on make up, you’ll always want to have it on. And price of the make up kit for men was quite reasonable (look who’s talking) and needless to say I was tempted to reach out to my wallet. But I think I’ll focus on improving my skin condition and complexion for the moment to prepare my skin for the future stress applied (pun intended) by make up. My skin will need it.